Recent research will help all parents and teachers to understand what is happening to children as they transition from school to home in the afternoons.
Dr Isabelle Filliozat’s research says:
The first 12 minutes after school decide your child’s emotional world. The Swiss Developmental Psychologist explained that when a child walks out of school, their brain is in survival mode. The amygdala, flooded with stimuli (noise, peers, correction), hasn’t shut off yet. Parents think they are greeting a rational child… they’re greeting a storm. Those first 12 minutes are the bridge between chaos and home. Interrupt the transition, and the bridge collapses.
She said, instead of asking questions when you first greet your child, wait 10-12 minutes before talking; simply share your presence… this approach fosters calmer moods and faster emotional recovery. The data from her research was clear: silence builds safety faster than speech.
To be honest, I can’t imagine absolute silence when you greet your child, but another study I came across agreed with not bombarding your child with multiple questions, but being a quiet presence, offering snacks and a cuddle, and holding off the questions. Give your child time; they will talk when they are ready.
Filliozat says, the 12 minutes are called emotional decompression. The nervous system, given time, reboots without parental repair. You don’t have to extract feelings, you have to make space for them to land… if you enter too early, you walk into the residue of school.
If you want to explore this research further, I recommend:
- What to do when your child melts down after school www.hazel.co
“Create a soft landing after school, instead of jumping into questions.”
- The Third Space by Adam Fraser. This book explains a concept representing the critical transitional gap between two environments (eg., work and home). While this book is about adult transitions, there is clear alignment between the transitions students experience and the transitions adults experience. I highly recommend this book to anyone!
Janelle Ford
Interim Principal